I was 17 years old and my mum told me (in no uncertain terms) that never on this planet ever would she allow me to do my motorbike test. It was the car or nothing. ‘You’re not riding a motorbike you can get it out of your head!’ She said.
Her reasonings? ‘I almost lost you.’ How did she almost lose me? (I hear you wondering.) She rode a ped in a snow storm whilst she was pregnant and came off. I mean come on… Who does that?! I tried to argue that she can’t make a decision for me like that based on her own actions as I am not her but she wouldn’t budge. I was absolutely gutted. Not to mention angry. I didn’t want a car.
Motorbikes were to me, like shiny objects to a crow… I couldn’t resist them. I loved them. I had been around them for a lot of my life. One of my Uncles rode (another Uncle just stole them and hid them in my Nanna’s garden but we don’t talk about him.) There’s photos of a very young me sitting atop one of his GSXRs in the back of my Nannas garden smiling like every day was Halloween. As a youth, some of my friends had dirt bikes and we spent many a happy hour with the sun blazing down on us, a hazy line of green trees shimmering in the distance, taking it in turns to race them across fields in our village. (Not that I ever told my mum of course.)
Then life happened. Sometimes it becomes a case of just surviving and not living. I forgot about my Motorbike dream, pushed it to be back of my head and just tried to survive. Then the worst thing happened. My mum died.
Not long after her death I received some money and my cousin said ‘Now you can get what you’ve always wanted.’ I thought about it but did I get the bike I’d always wanted? Nope. I moved to London as I didn’t have a fixed abode at that time and a kind friend had taken me in for a while.
London was a dream. I found home. I never wanted to leave but as this is a story about Motorbikes let’s go to the part where I finally got one.
You’re never going to believe what kickstarted the bike dream… Seriously. All you big badass biker chicks out there are going to laugh. Maybe I’ll even lose my biker chick credibility forever…
It was bloody Sons Of Anarchy. For the first time in my life I was in a good situation with heart, body and mind all working together as they should. I had a good job and I FINALLY realised… WHY do I not have a bike yet?
The following payday I rang up and booked my CBT. I was so excited. Like a kid about to go Trick or Treating… As soon as I got on that bike my heart was were it always should have been. These people spoke my language (most of the time) and I was happy. I was also filled with a deep regret. I had allowed my mum to dictate what I could and couldn’t do and let my dream almost go. I lost 17 years of riding. What I should have done is said okay… Then done it anyway.
Who knows, Maybe she saved my life. I was a bit crazy with absolutely no fear back then. Or maybe there is something else here. A lesson to be learned… If you want something in your life, so much that it hurts inside and your instinct is telling you yes this is right for you, then don’t let anyone stop you. Listen to their concerns of course but don’t not do something you love because someone else tells you that you can’t. (Unless you know… It’s murder or something like that. Don’t ever do that.)
Written by Emmy Bourne, July 21st 2022 ©
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